Very upset
Al i did was contacting a friend of mine i used to talk to alot, and i do miss talking to some of my friends, but this one, well he wanted more then just talk i guess.
I had hard time with my boyfriend, well he broke up with me so i guess its about time calling him ex now, but anyways, itss the one in england, and this friend of mine asked me what my plans was, and i told him im getting my own place as soon as i can, but i miss my friends and al, and he made it clear to me that his offer still stands if i wanna go to america.
My attension wasnt to live with someone else, like he thought, and he pointed out that if i go to america i could stay in his house, but he also pointed out that he couldnt wait for our first night?? And also pointed out he loves me? Well i love my friends to, but he ment something else? This wasnt what i wanted, and now ofc i lost the man i love so much. Ofc he wont belive me at al, why would he right? Al i wanted was to talk to my friend, and it was a huge misstake to let him know i miss my friend. Now, i dont know what to do.
I want my love back, i realy do. It hurts so bad its hard to breath sometimes, and my chest is hurting bad. Im crying al the time. this friend of mine knew btw i have a bofriend. i can understand my ex, how he must have feel and al, but i have no reason to lie. I showed him everything al the time when he asked me to, and i explained everything and let him know who everyone is that i talk to on msn or what ever. I wanted this place to be for me, him and our sons, but he belived i wanted to get a place so i could bring someone else over. NOT MY ATTENSION TO DO SO!
Couse the thing is, i can get housing benefits if i get my own place, and this is al i can do in order to get a life together with , well now adays ex, but ofc he had to think bad about it, instead of actualy see what im trying to do.
It hurts realy bad, i mite done things wrong, and it was wrong to contact a friend of mine, but im not a bad person with bad attension. Im a good person, with good attensions. I wish he could belive me on that.
I dont wanna go back to sweden, only thinking of it brakes my heart, i cant leave him and not beeing able to see him or be around him. FOR GODS SAKE HE MEANS EVERYTHING FOR ME! HE IS MY LIFE!
I can scream and yell this as much as i want, he still wouldnt hear me out or belive me.
I know we argued alot, and al i want is to start out fresh and get our own place, ffs its hard enough to live so man ppl in the same house, ofc it will be argues, but if you realy love someone you realy try right? And thats what im doing, im giving it al for to try my best for him, and he ended it like im nothing, im not worth anything, i never ment anything. Im just a girl, nothing else. Thats how it feels. But im stuborn, i dont want it to end at al, couse i belive and i know in my heart it can be al good if we can get our own place, so we can have a life together, to have more then just one room to be in etc.
Im out of words now, i love him, always will, and i will never ever give up on this man!
I had hard time with my boyfriend, well he broke up with me so i guess its about time calling him ex now, but anyways, itss the one in england, and this friend of mine asked me what my plans was, and i told him im getting my own place as soon as i can, but i miss my friends and al, and he made it clear to me that his offer still stands if i wanna go to america.
My attension wasnt to live with someone else, like he thought, and he pointed out that if i go to america i could stay in his house, but he also pointed out that he couldnt wait for our first night?? And also pointed out he loves me? Well i love my friends to, but he ment something else? This wasnt what i wanted, and now ofc i lost the man i love so much. Ofc he wont belive me at al, why would he right? Al i wanted was to talk to my friend, and it was a huge misstake to let him know i miss my friend. Now, i dont know what to do.
I want my love back, i realy do. It hurts so bad its hard to breath sometimes, and my chest is hurting bad. Im crying al the time. this friend of mine knew btw i have a bofriend. i can understand my ex, how he must have feel and al, but i have no reason to lie. I showed him everything al the time when he asked me to, and i explained everything and let him know who everyone is that i talk to on msn or what ever. I wanted this place to be for me, him and our sons, but he belived i wanted to get a place so i could bring someone else over. NOT MY ATTENSION TO DO SO!
Couse the thing is, i can get housing benefits if i get my own place, and this is al i can do in order to get a life together with , well now adays ex, but ofc he had to think bad about it, instead of actualy see what im trying to do.
It hurts realy bad, i mite done things wrong, and it was wrong to contact a friend of mine, but im not a bad person with bad attension. Im a good person, with good attensions. I wish he could belive me on that.
I dont wanna go back to sweden, only thinking of it brakes my heart, i cant leave him and not beeing able to see him or be around him. FOR GODS SAKE HE MEANS EVERYTHING FOR ME! HE IS MY LIFE!
I can scream and yell this as much as i want, he still wouldnt hear me out or belive me.
I know we argued alot, and al i want is to start out fresh and get our own place, ffs its hard enough to live so man ppl in the same house, ofc it will be argues, but if you realy love someone you realy try right? And thats what im doing, im giving it al for to try my best for him, and he ended it like im nothing, im not worth anything, i never ment anything. Im just a girl, nothing else. Thats how it feels. But im stuborn, i dont want it to end at al, couse i belive and i know in my heart it can be al good if we can get our own place, so we can have a life together, to have more then just one room to be in etc.
Im out of words now, i love him, always will, and i will never ever give up on this man!
Time to write again i guess
Yea, its been over a week since i wrote last time, but i havent realy felt like writing anything and i guess i have nothing to write about. Not much have happen. Iv been sick for 2 weeks, but im better now, still coughing alot, but it aint that bad no more.
At the moment im not doing much, my son is out with my boyfriends mom on carboot and barn sale, i didnt feel like going out today.
made a new caracter in world of warcraft, a druid, only lvl 12 so far. Dont know if i like it or not still, but i do wana have a rogue i know that much, they are fun to play with. But on and off, more often now, i feel like just quiting the game and maybe find a free online game instead, i dont know, but i have hard time letting go of the game.
Iono, ill see later on what i deside to do.
I need to save up money somehow, so me and my bf can get things sorted out and soon enough move to our own place. its hard to live like this, so smal room, i dont have room enough for my clothing. And i simply wish to have our own place, more freedom that way to do what ever i want, making clothing etc, cooking food etc. ya know what i mean, and to feel like we are a family and al.
In due time we proberbl get it al, if he wanna be with me that long lol.
Right now as im writing this, im downloading trial for every quest 2, thought i mite aswell since world of warcraft servers is down atm.
Got to go now, my son is comming back home in a few.
See ya around.
At the moment im not doing much, my son is out with my boyfriends mom on carboot and barn sale, i didnt feel like going out today.
made a new caracter in world of warcraft, a druid, only lvl 12 so far. Dont know if i like it or not still, but i do wana have a rogue i know that much, they are fun to play with. But on and off, more often now, i feel like just quiting the game and maybe find a free online game instead, i dont know, but i have hard time letting go of the game.
Iono, ill see later on what i deside to do.
I need to save up money somehow, so me and my bf can get things sorted out and soon enough move to our own place. its hard to live like this, so smal room, i dont have room enough for my clothing. And i simply wish to have our own place, more freedom that way to do what ever i want, making clothing etc, cooking food etc. ya know what i mean, and to feel like we are a family and al.
In due time we proberbl get it al, if he wanna be with me that long lol.
Right now as im writing this, im downloading trial for every quest 2, thought i mite aswell since world of warcraft servers is down atm.
Got to go now, my son is comming back home in a few.
See ya around.
